


Requests For A New Ship

by Wordsdear



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Strawhat shenanigans, and robin is sad and so is nami, but also angst, cause usopp isn't part of the crew yet for parts of it, so flufff and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 11:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsdear/pseuds/Wordsdear
Summary: After Enies Lobby, the Straw Hats make a list of what they would want on their new ship."So I already told you guys I would build you a new ship, but seeing as it is will be your ship, I want any and all off your suggestions on what you might want on it”Cacophony broke out“A slide!”“A sake fridge”“A vault!”“ A fridge with a lock!!”“A cotton candy machine!!!”“A tomb”Franky raised his hands for silence  but the yelling continued so he bellowed over top of them all, crowing“SHUT UP!”He coughed a little, he needed to grease his vocal cords again.“I want you all to make a list of what you want and give it to me by the end of the day”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for One Piece Big Bang 2019. A huge thank you to @peppernine (on tumblr) for betaing this for me! @rocketspurs drew some amazing art for this as well

Franky had wanted to meet at the bar formerly known Blueno’s Bar, but Straw Hat had refused, insisting that at least one person stay in their room at Galley La at all times. No one had argued, and Franky couldn’t help but join them in hoping that a certain Long Nose Bro might pop up again, mask or no mask. Part of him thought about marching over and dragging Long Nose back by the nose himself, but on second thought that would probably only make things worse. A man’s pride was such a fragile thing. Best to rely on steel instead. Knocking on his metal chest, Franky cleared his throat, and stared around at the rag tag team in front of him: Straw Hat, with a finger up his nose looking already bored; Sword Bro, taking a nap (does using three swords use that much energy?); Girlie staring at him expectantly and with a hint of a smirk she was probably counting the seconds to bill him for wasting her time; Cook Bro was staring at Girlie; Reindeer Gorilla was staring at Franky wide eyed as if expecting a magic trick; and Nico Robin just looked at him and smiled. Oh she definitely knew what he was going to say. So much for his super surprise. There was a buzz of excitement in the air but Franky couldn’t help but notice that although the crew was huddled, they kept naturally leaving an empty space in their half circle around him. Reindeer Gorilla and Straw Hat kept snorting and looking to the side as if to share a joke only to look at empty air. It all felt off. There was nothing he could do about that, but there was one problem he could fix.

"So I already told you guys I would build you a new ship, but seeing as it is will be your ship, I want any and all off your suggestions on what you might want on it”

Cacophony broke out

“A slide!”  
“A sake fridge”  
“A vault!”  
“ A fridge with a lock!!”  
“A cotton candy machine!!!”  
“A tomb”

Franky raised his hands for silence but the yelling continued so he bellowed over top of them all, crowing

“SHUT UP!”

He coughed a little, he needed to grease his vocal cords again.

“I want you all to make a list of what you want and give it to me by the end of the day”

“But what about Uso-” Reindeer Gorilla clopped his hoofs over his own mouth.

“You can suggest something for someone else as well, if everyone wants something then I am more likely to actually put it in. It is your ship though, so I will almost certainly put it in unless it is something ridiculous like a slide” 

Or a tomb he added mentally, but it wasn’t worth having his back broken.

Straw Hat sulked at him and Nico Robin’s smile widened a little and damn she really could read his mind couldn’t she. Fine... one shrine coming right up. It felt good to be a shipwright again after so long. Once they sailed through, he would be back to destroying old ships and selling the parts for cash. It was enough to make a man dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On kitchens and Slip'N Slides

Usopp carefully ticked off the steps in his head: first make sure the drain is closed (wasting fresh water is a death sentence at sea, in more ways than one), then add soap, turn on the hot water, wait for it to fill, shut off the tap and begin. The mental list was necessary as once he forgot the soap and had to redo it from scratch (he was rushing so he could join in on tag okay?). He globbed in some dish soap from the fluorescent yellow bottle that Sanji swore by (or well... Sanji’s swear word of choice was mainly shit but anyways). He wasn’t sure if Sanji made it himself or if he was just really good at finding dish soap at island markets. Either way, Sanji treated it as if it was liquid gold - no bubble battles allowed under pain of death. It seemed like any wrong step in the kitchen was a death flag, but that was their chef after all. Angry until the end, but the food was delicious so who would complain? Unless there were mushrooms of course. Usopp shuddered a little, repressing the memory of Sanji force feeding him mushrooms shortly after joining. Throwing them on the floor probably hadn’t been a smart move (table manners weren’t really a thing when you lived alone).

He was getting distracted. He had a job to do. Dishes. It was his turn, in the completely fair, totally not rigged system where Nami and Robin never had to do it. He would bring it up, but he liked his nose unbroken. Sanji really was an idiot. You would think he’d want the ladies of the crew hanging out in the kitchen more, but Sani had waxed poetically about not wanting to wrinkle a single digit on Nami’s hand, for an hour and half (Usopp had a book and a timer). So there was no point in arguing. Luffy was exempt, of course, from dish duty, from the simple fact that he would break any dish he touched. Not in a malicious way, just in a Luffy way. 

Usopp reached for the tap and adjusted each handle carefully, hot but not to hot. Crouching down he dug inside the cupboard for his extra special impermeable gloves, one size fits all. His hands tended to chap up a lot. The water began to rise, creating mini bubble mountains and climbing their way up the sides of the sink. Usopp was inraptured by their ascent, when a large BOOM shook the ship. Cannon fire. Shit. Usopp shivered and instinctively tried to hide under the sink. The cupboard door wouldn’t quite close on him though (the curse of having a beautifully luxurious plus size proboscis) and his friends probably kind of sort of needed his help. Zoro and Luffy could handle whoever it was in an instant, and same with Sanji, but it might be nice to see the three of them leap around. If he watched closely maybe he could even see Robin catch a cannon ball with her bare pop up hands, that would be a sight to see. Chopper and Nami had probably already scoped out a good hiding place on deck. Sprinting out of the kitchen, Usopp went to join.

Out on the deck, he looked around frantically trying to spot the source of the cannon fire. From somewhere higher up, he head Nami call out, 

“STARBOARD! THEY ARE STARBOARD!”  
Oh right, Nami had been on watch in the crow’s nest. He turned to his right and finally managed to spot them. The marines. Typical. Couldn’t they just leave them alone? They weren’t hurting anyone, at the moment at least. Come back in twenty minutes when he was done the dishes. Deal? Usopp was sure his high stakes negotiation with the defenders of the unfree world over five more minutes would go great. If he could ever get them to listen, they were a little too cannon happy. Even his mom had only settled for waving a wooden spoon at him when he got lippy. They were pirates after all, it meant there was no such thing as a dull moment. Dishes be damned, the marines wanted them all in cell, or hung. The marine ship was just within cannon range, but maybe if this did become a ship to ship battle, he could trick one of the lieutenants into doing the dishes. Or at least breaking a few so he wouldn’t have to wash them all. Sanji’s food was delicious, but boy did it make a mess. Their Captain of a thousand stomaches wasn’t helping matters either. Licking plates clean wasn’t very sanitary.

“Usopp! What are you doing standing there? We have a cannon too, fire back damn it!” 

Thank you Navigator Obvious.

Making his way over to the cannon, he fumbled with one of heavy iron balls (he needed to practice more with Zoro’s weights) and slid it in the matching hole (that’s what she said). Staring at the other ship, he closed one eye and tried to guess the distance. As he ran the numbers, another BOOM rang out. He could feel the impact, not just in his chest but literally, the spray from it smashing into the water stung his eyes. Yeah that was it, he wasn’t tearing up in fear at all, the sea was just being dramatic. He shook his head, trying to clear the salt water of debatable origins. The great tale of Usopp aside, if we are in their range, that must mean that they’re in ours, right? Most marine ships had fairly dinky cannons; they relied on numbers, and swarming once they got close. There was only one marine ship here, which felt strange, probably just a scouting ship or unfortunate happenstance. Soon it would call all its execution loving friends to join the party, if they didn’t do something first. Mental calculations complete, Usopp fired off his responding shot. It hammered into the side of the enemy ship, shaking it, but doing nothing to slow it down. It was still getting closer. Booms were still going off, but Usopp ignored them. The rest of the crew could protect the Merry. It was his job to get some payback. The marines were still too far away for any close range attacks that their crew specialized in. Usopp found it hard to grab the next cannonball, it felt oddly slippery. Brushing it off as just sea spray, he readjusted the cannon and fired again. 

As he fired that last shot, taking out the other ship’s rudder, his foot almost slipped. They were at sea sure, and some water is to be expected on board but it wasn’t storming... for now, knowing the Grand Line. There was no reason there should be so much water on deck. Oh. This oncoming water just so happened to have some large bubbles forming on it. Fingers crossed for a surprise bubble storm, Usopp stole a glance over at the kitchen door where water was seeping out. The entire deck was coated in bubbles. The Merry finally had proper wool coat. Give or take a few bubbles. How hard would it be to knit a bubble sweater or would the needles just pop it? All of this was running through his head as he sprinted to the kitchen hoping against all hope that Sanji hadn’t noticed yet that the Merry had become a real sheep. Mid-sprint he lost his footing for real this time and landed face first in the growing bubble mess. Maybe Sanji had been distracted by Nami and he still had time. He felt a pressure on his back and he collapsed fully to the ground.

“Shitty Long Nose, what did you do?”

He snuck a glance back and saw Sanji, his usual pristine suit covered in suds, he just barely caught his giggle.

“Something funny Usopp? Do you know why my hand slipped while I was doing party table kick course? I could have sprained my wrist.”

Usopp gulped. Sanji’s hands were important, the bacon makers.

“I’m sorry Sanji! I kind of forgot to turn off the taps. I was trying to do the dishes but then the marines attacked and I wanted to help cause you all would be screwed without me…”

“Whatever, you are on dish duty for the next two weeks”

Faintly, Usopp heard Chopper cheer. No more bedtime stories for the little ingrate.

Sanji ground his foot into his back one last time before lifting it off with a huff and strolling into the kitchen to turn off the taps presumably. Did he still have to do the dishes? As he tried to stand up, hands sliding a little in the bubbles he heard Luffy laugh from somewhere behind him. 

 

Usopp felt his blood run cold, nothing good every happened after that noise. Carefully ever so slowly he turned his head, millimeters at a time, hoping beyond all hopes that the impossible would happen, Luffy would just be making a bubble beard or something no reason to panic. 

Luffy was on the upper deck by his special seat and was staring down at the soapy deck. He raised his fists into the air and cheered out

“Awesome! A slip and slide!!! Watch this!”

Usopp gulped and watched helplessly as Luffy stretched out his hands, gripping either side of the deck rails and sprinted backwards. He kicked up his feet and the rubber man of doom rocketed down flying over the stairs to land skidding on the deck. Their captain plowed through the bubbles, cheering as he went, before smashing into the wall beside the kitchen door with a high pitched squeal. Luffy lay in a boneless bubbly heap on the deck. Usopp waited, but Luffy stayed down.

Hesitantly he called out “Hey Luffy! Are you all right? Really funny, you can get up now”

A high pitched whining began to rise from the Luffy puddle

Still upright Zoro smirked

“Stop whining, that didn’t even hurt, right? You’re made of rubber after all!”

Luffy rolled to face Zoro and Usopp, there were tears in his eyes. A chill ran down Usopp’s spine. Had Luffy actually been seriously hurt? Had he broken a bone? It was all his fault, the crew was doomed. Might as well throw in the towel and call it a day now.

Chopper had run over on seeing them gathered around Luffy and started patting him down for injuries.

“Where does it hurt Luffy? Does your head hurt? How many - um” with a quick pop Chopper turned into heavy point waving three fingers in front of Luffy’s face “-fingers am I holding up?”

Nami wandered by, she must of come down from the crows nest during the cannon fire exchange, not smart to be up and out in the open during something like that. 

“He can’t get a concussion...right?”

Usopp shrugged, but something was seriously wrong. The tense moment was interrupted by Luffy breaking out into giggles, still teary eyed.

“My butt!”

Chopper dead panned “What”

“I got a splinter in my butt!” Chopper just stared at Luffy so he continued

“It hurts like hell, right on this cheek” at this Luffy rolled over and pulled down his pants presumably to show up his newly won splinter

Nami held her head in her hands and Robin smiled, a pair of hands appearing on Luffy’s shorts to pull them back up. 

“I am sure Doctor can handle that in the infirmary. Right Doctor?” she turned to Chopper and after calling her a bastard, he managed to convince Luffy to go to the infirmary and not to try the slip and slide again.

They were in there for less than thirty seconds before Luffy bolted out laughing his head off and Chopper charged out after him running on all fours still in heavy point. Screaming “LUFFY!!!! STAND STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU!”

“Luffy, what did you do?”

Ducking behind Usopp, Luffy adjusted his shorts and shout whispered “I farted in his face, accidently... but worth it” and with a laugh Luffy was off again running.

Whelp, with their doctor’s sensitive sense of smell Usopp thought that Luffy deserved everything that was coming to him. He turned to look at Zoro who shrugged and looked at Nami. 

She just looked back at them until Usopp voiced their assumed shared fears, 

“So now that our Captain is as good as dead, I’m the new Captain right?”

Zoro tried and failed to conceal a laugh and Nami crossed her arms

“No way.. You idiots couldn’t find your way out of a paper bag. If anyone is going to be Captain it should be me.” 

Robin hadn’t so much as moved, her small smile was the exact same, you could have held a ruler up and measured it, but Nami still added, “or Robin. I’m sure she would make a great Captain. All that assassin stuff could come in handy.”

Usopp stared at Robin’s smile and thought to himself that trying to survive her coup wasn’t worth it.

‘Fine. Then I call first mate!”

Usopp sprung up to his feet, and glared over at Zoro daring him to challenge his greatness.

Zoro smiled and said “If we are reforming the crew, I call cook.”

Somewhere in the kitchen, there was high pitched scream and the kitchen door was kicked open and a flaming Sanji sprang out.

“You’ll do what now????!”

Zoro rested his hands on the Wado Ichimonji and replied, “Sakes all we need after all, right?”

Sanji screamed and kicked himself forward. 

Nami sighed “Zoro, we have been over this. Scurvy. Remember?”

“Like I would let something that wimpy stop me.”

Letting the two idiots fight it out, Usopp went over to make sure their doctor didn’t violate the hippocratic oath.

 

Requests 

Luffy- a slide  
Sanji -a drain in the kitchen floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two of the things in this chapter have actually happened to me….I almost flooded a kitchen at work but luckily it had a drain in the floor, and when I was little I farted in my mom’s face when she tried to pull a splinter out of it. @rocketspurs did an awesome drawing for this chapter you can see it here https://twitter.com/rocketspurs/status/1120073107765645314


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt for the perfect napping spot

Finding a place to nap on the Merry was an extreme sport. Zoro’s bed was always an option, but it meant he would be delayed if anything were to happen. Also it smelled in there. Laundry was done whenever the cook or Usopp got fed up. Maybe it was something to do with a sharpened sense of smell from all that cooking and Usopp’s big nose gave him an advantage? Besides napping in your own bed was weird, sleeping and napping were completely different they needed different places, it was simply logical. The kitchen had the couch but on the other hand it also had the love cook, and everyone was always in there yelling about something or other. Sleeping in the bathtub was a no go after Nami yelled at him, no idea why, he couldn’t see her pee if he was fast asleep. The bathtub wasn’t comfy anyways. On top of the mast was a nice breeze but it was a little too tempting for the ero cook to just kick him down to the deck. The infirmary was also an option, it had a bed and was usually pretty quiet. Only problem was that if there was a fight he would only hear about it after Chopper had time to bring the injured to the infirmary, the fight would be long over by then. Also the three idiots always came in there during hide and seek. Sleeping in the girls room was also a no go. Their bed was a little too soft. Nami had yelled at him and Robin had stared at him unblinkly for what felt like two hours so he was pretty sure she was actually going to try to kill him. 

So on deck was the only real option. Up against a railing was nice, a bit of sea breeze in his face, but any sudden turns of the ship meant he might go overboard. Sure, he hadn’t eaten a devil fruit, but three metal swords were awfully heavy, especially when you are half asleep. Cleaning the salt water off of them was always a pain. So the real best nap spot was against the wall by the kitchen. He got the odd splinter, more and more lately, and sometimes had weird crease marks on his face. He had only learned about the marks after Usopp and Luffy kept bursting into laughter at the sight of him and he had to chase them around until they explained. It wasn’t marker, this time. It wasn’t exactly comfortable but that was the point. He needed to be ready at a moments notice. Sure he might have slept through a few storms on their entrance into the Grand Line according to the rest of the crew, but a man needs his rest. Zoro didn’t sleep much at night. Night was prime raiding time after all. He had to be ready, always ready. And stronger, so much stronger. Sure he could cut steel now but what happens when even that wasn’t enough? Their little crew kept growing and Zoro just kept meeting new people to die for. They could handle themselves, but just in case, there was always Zoro.

Request

Zoro-a nap spot on deck


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libraries aren't always simple

Long Nose edged over to Robin. He was just barely inside her peripheral vision (careful training and sneak attack after sneak attack had honed this) but she waited. As still as a statue, she continued to read her book showing no sign that she was aware he was there. She doubted he would do anything, she knew his type. If he was going to strike, it would be from afar, not up close. But in case he did, she was ready. Backs break the same, coward or not. Even the jumpiest person could turn on a dime, if sufficiently motivated. She had been on both sides of this more times then she could count. But she gave him the benefit of the doubt; why, she did not quite know. He coughed into his hand, trying to warn her of his presence, how cute. No, she had to focus. He may seem harmless, but so had countless others. The moment she dropped her guard, even for a second, was always when the hammer falls. She had escaped the marines hundreds of thousands of times by a hair by always being prepared. Trust no one. Can not be shocked by betrayal, if you always know it is coming. It was a personal truth, the iron clad rule etched in her heart like a Ponoglyph. Whether he was going to try to kill her or play some silly prank, she was prepared. She was not going to let him hit her with a flour bomb like he had the swordsman. They had told the doctor he was a ghost and the doctor hadn’t screamed like they had hoped but had instead cried for an hour. She was not going to let that happen to her. Seeing the good doctor cry once was more than enough. He cried like a child, snot and tears mixing together. A little too familiar. Turning her head slightly from her book she smiled a carefully practiced smile (hours and hours in front of the mirror. Not too soft, a bit of an edge but not too threatening

“Can I help you, Long Nose?”

He grimaced at the nickname and Robin felt her smile grow a little, damn all that practice for nothing. She needed to work harder. So she let the smile grow and turn into a smirk. It might be a little too sharp but Long Nose needed to learn his place.

“Um I wanted to…..”

He stopped for a second and looked behind him. Robin felt her legs tense, was the swordsman behind him, waiting to spring? Was he a distraction? She hadn’t even thought of that, stupid stupid. The book in her hands was an obstacle in her using her ability, the seconds mattered here. She had actually gotten into the story a little . A rookie mistake, something that had would of gotten her killed. She let the book fall onto her lap. No charging swordsman or rampaging captain emerged. Just the navigator frantically pointing at Long Nose and spinning her fingers, a sign to hurry up? Or a secret sign to go for the kill. She was tricky enough to think of complex signs. Deep breath, focus. Panicking would only slow her down. She would be able to act before they did anything. The two of them were the only long range attackers after all and they were all in sight with no weapons in hand. 

“Ummm so Robin. Nami and I were wondering...”

The Navigator frantically shook her head making an X sign with her hands, clearly she wanted nothing to do with this.

Long Nose gulped, then puffed out his chest and lowered his tone “I mean. I, the great Captain Usopp was wondering if you, Robin, had any books you would like to share.”

Robin blinked at him. Books. Truly she had no idea what he could mean. Did he think she was stupid enough to carry around books of how to translate Pongyphs? To freely give the only edge she had on this world? Too long of a pause before response, she needed to say something anything. She tilted her head allowing her hair to ripple a little, this usually distracted most men

Long Nose just gulped, a panicked look in his eyes

“I thought the Captain was the Captain?”

“Ummm”

Navigator came rushing over, pushing Long Nose out of the way

“Sorry, what our not captain is trying to say is. Do you have any books you’re willing to share? We have a bit of a sparse library here and anything we can add to it would be great. You are crew now, right? So spill it.”

Robin stared back at the navigator, it felt a little too much like an interrogation and she did not like the sound of that. 

’What makes you think I have any books?”

“You are an archeologist right? You must have a ton of history books.”

And from behind the navigator Robin saw a certain telltale furry body sticking out, only his head was behind the wall. The squeaky nervous voice called out, “Do you have any old medical textbooks? Or medical accounts? Those are super rare and I would love to get the chance to read them. Please?” 

Robin was not used to children, they aren’t exactly the norm on pirate crews. The Ship’s Doctor wasn’t a child strictly speaking, he had told her in passing he was 14 but still, so young, and naive. Desperate for knowledge and acceptance, soaking it all in. Reminded her a little too much of that little girl laughing in the boat. That girl had died that day. Only her husk had kept moving. No childhood could survive that fire and the cold oh the cold. She had felt the chill from Saul’s body down to her bones. It had taken ages for her to feel warm again. Focus Robin, focus. He was small but in seconds he could become a rampaging monster, if he got a needle in her before she had the chance to snap his neck, it would all be over. 

 

She needed to take control of the situation. Right now their set of three puppy dog eyes (two puppy dogs, one reindeer) were boring into her a little too much for her comfort. A change of scenery would be good. So she said something stupid.

“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”

 

She awkwardly followed behind them as they led her to the kitchen. The chef wasn’t there luckily; she felt so on edge she didn’t think she could handle his spinning. They had two small bookshelves mismatched placed side by side in a corner. One of them was full while the other was pretty bare. 

“Usopp here brought his whole damn house when he joined, so thanks to him we have a whole lot of joke books, fables, slingshots for idiots and a self illustrated tales of the great Captain Usopp.” Navigator rolled her eyes. “Chopper has his collection in the infirmary but it is all medical textbooks and those get outdated fast” 

“What did you bring Navigator?” Keep the focus away from herself. Delay and delay until she figured out what they were planning. This could not really just be about books, could it? 

“Most of my navigational charts and books were destroyed when Lu- in a fortunate accident so I really only have a few key books that I stole.” Doctor glared at the Navigator and she sighed “I mean borrowed and will totally return.” She waved her hands in the air, “and the charts I already had on the ship before the incident.”

A fortunate accident. She didn’t seem upset, instead she seemed happy. Robin wanted to ask but too much interest was also a danger. If she got to invested she would be distracted. In her small moment of panic she had let them lead her into a closed off room with multiple hiding places. The floor creaked as she stepped back a little, an attack from below was also possible.

“That is rather unfortunate I can imagine. I am still confused on what exactly this has to do with me.”

“Well, we need more books or more material. Knowledge is power, especially on the Grand Line and we need to arm ourselves as well as we can. You have been on the Grand Line for...”

She stopped waiting for Robin to fill in a number. Robin tried her best not to smile, she did love seeing people squirm.

“...For a while, so you must know things we don’t. And we need more books because we have a little system going. Before Chopper joined we just bought or stole books at random, kind of blindly guessing on what might be important. Whisky Peak was hit or miss, nothing super useful just a load of junk and a bunch of wanted posters. There wasn’t anything worth stealing on the giant island.

Wanted posters were dangerous. It had been twenty years but her poster still might be there. She was lucky that this new crew had never heard of her, but if they spotted her poster and started asking questions… she could rip it up before that happened. She needed to make sure she always got the paper before the Navigator, sometimes they ran her poster for a bit of shock and awe, oh look what an 8 year old could do. She knew they had gone to Little Garden but, giants, they had met giants. Saul Saul Saul. His looming figure protecting her forever in ice. The icicles hanging down from his beard freezing him eternally in that damn laugh. She couldn’t honour Saul’s wish to laugh and smile to be strong, A smile was a weapon, plain and simple. A good smirk could be like a knife to the gut if you timed it right. 

They were still talking, she had to pay attention.

“And Drum was full of books but we didn’t have much time to steal anything and Chopper here wouldn’t let us steal anything in Alabasta.”

“Vivi gave us a ton for free!”

“So instead we have to leave a book for every book we take. It is a system, knowledge for knowledge.”

Robin couldn’t help herself. 

“But you are pirates?”

“Luffy says pirates can do whatever they want and I want to trade.” The reindeer crossed his furry little stick arms and huffed.

What kind of pirates were these kids? She had picked this crew on a whim, because their damned captain wouldn’t let her die. The simple fact that the name Nico Robin did not make them so much as flinch. It felt so good to be able to introduce herself as Robin and for noone to cower in fear. For them to call out her name so casually. It felt like a dream. After so many years, it felt like the only way to pronounce her name was with revulsion or fear. With Crocodile she had become Ms All Sunday, which in and of itself was a relief. To step outside herself and pretend she was someone else. He still knew her real name though, and used it when he felt like annoying her, if he felt she was getting too cocky. It was a way to keep her in her place; a hanging guilitione over her neck, waiting to fall. The unspoken truth that the only reason he had not turned her over the government he pretended to work for was that she was the only path to Pluton. It was so much easier when things were simple. Oh sure, they had both been planning to betray each other the whole time but at least they both knew it. It was expected, it came with being a pirate. But since she had joined this crew it suddenly wasn’t simple at all. They ate together eating and laughing with their mouths full, instead of sneaking food that you tested on the banana gator first (she had half hoped Crocodile would try to poison her so she could get rid of his silly pets). They made it seem so easy. Like being a pirate was a lark.

“Well do you have any books?”

The world always waiting for the chance to pounce and kill and these idiots were just wandering through as if it was a picnic. As if they could just build their own little library from scratch. It would be cute if it wasn’t so sad. Libraries always burned. Collecting books was a risk only the stupid made. Memorize and destroy. Do not share knowledge, secrets are only worth anything if no one else knew them. Robin tried very hard not to think of the book of fairy tales buried at the bottom of her sack. The one book she had gotten out of Ohara. Completely and utterly useless. A dead weight that she had carried around with her for twenty years. She just could not seem to bring herself to get rid of it. Collecting books was a fool’s dream. There was someone always wanting to steal or burn them. The worst part was, the book wasn’t even one of the professor’s. It was not from the great library, this was very much so not a book worth dying for. 

It wasn’t even her own book, it was her cousin’s. A silly book of fairy tales that her aunt read to her cousin every night. So she had stolen it, not for any lofty reason, but because she liked to imagine her mother reading it to her. She wondered what her mother’s reading voice would sound like. They could have broken down the origin of each fairy tale and laughed about how silly they all were. Comparing and contrasting how dark they really used to be, like how the step sister’s toes had been cut off to fit the glass slipper in the original stories. She liked that version better. But her book was not even that, it was the light fairy tales where everyone lived happily ever after and the prince and princess always ended up together and only the bad guys died. Her aunt had died though. Everyone had died. Only she had gotten away. The monster lived in this story. Monsters never got a happy ending, the brave prince always came and slew them in the end. Robin had never met a prince. But she was damn sure she could break his back before he could swing that fancy sword of his. 

Collecting herself she realized she still had not answered the question and the crew was staring at her with wide eyes. 

“If I do have book. What do I get out of it? You trade for books right? So let us trade.”

“Brag Men.”

Robin froze. That had been at Ohara

“It may be considered mostly lies, but some of it is true. And it actually has helped us a few times. You could read it. There are a few mentions of ruins and odd stones. That seems up your alley.”

Long Nose chimed in “We have a few murder mysteries that as an assassin I am sure you will enjoy.”

Murder mysteries for fairy tales, like trading one lie for another. All she had known for the last 20 years was that raising tension and the snap of the spine, and now they were supposed to dance around holding hands like the seven dwarves. Robin was not going to be a dwarf, and she was not going to be Snow White either. Falling for poison was a rookie mistake. She had happily eaten the cook’s food without even testing it first though.. She was better suited as the evil stepmother anyway, watching from afar wanting what the effortlessly happiness snow white had. With those silly dwarves. The queen should of been happy with her pretty castle and the no one trying to kill her. If she was in charge of the kingdom, things would be different. This was useless thinking, there was no different way in this world. No dwarves, no friends, no magic mirror, and certainly not herself in any position of power. No chance of her getting to become an old hag, she was lucky she had almost made it to her 30’s.

They lived like they were in a fairy tale. Off to fight giants, slay the dragon and go to sky island. It was such simple thinking, and it was easy to slip in and just go with the flow. There was a sharp edge to it though. They would fight for this fairy tale, their dreams as they called it, tooth and claw until they got it. Make your dreams come true had always seemed like optimistic trite, a fool’s way out. Never as something to fight or die for. Here they were though, back from the ship after suffering a beating for daring to say they would go to sky island. They had not fought back, just taken it. Because they knew they were right. There was a little to back them up, the log pose pointing up, the detail in Noland’s log of items from sky island, the falling ship and its map. None of that mattered to the Captain though, he would will sky island into existence by sheer force if he had to. The universe better make one, or else. He will go off and pursue something else. This refusal to give up, to even accept the basic confines of their reality, shook her. It had cracked her world down in that cave in Alabasta, when he refused to let her die. He made the rules, not her or the world. It was silly, but oh so fascinating. How far could this will take him? 

She kind of wanted to see if fairy tales really could come true. There is always a dark side to fairy tales. Always a price to pay, Always the poison apple, the eternal sleep, and the hungry oven in the gingerbread house. It was so tempting to fall into their rhythm, to accept the impossible and think the consequences don’t apply to them or that someone else would be left holding the hot potato. The world had taught Robin differently. That every single time, it will all fall apart. Without fail, without warning, the world as you know it would always come tumbling down. Sheer will can not change reality. Smile as he wanted, this Captain could not change her past. Or her future. One day she would not run fast enough. One day the Marines would catch her. One day history truly would be lost. It was silly to believe otherwise. But the Straw Hat Pirates seemed to run on silly, impossible was just a word to them. It made her want to scream sometimes, that they did things without thinking and it just worked out. All of her planning, inching and careful words thrown up into a million pieces because the Captain decided so. He smiled and she lost her place in her book. That Long Nose managed to sneak up on her, only catching it just in time. She was getting comfortable and that was an unforgivable sin. These Straw Hats were going to be the death of her, she could feel it in her bones. Or she would be the death of them. The cold hard unshakable reality always followed with her, and these kids were woefully unprepared. You could not smile away the admirals. Throw all the punches you want. Let all the rain fall, the buster call always wins. It would be so nice if just for half a second that was not true. It was silly, but oh so fascinating. So could she place one book on a shelf? Lay down the bricks so that one day the big bad wolf could come along and try to blow it all down again.

“I really do not have anything to add. On the run and all.” She smiled as their shoulders sagged. She felt a little bad, but really this book of fairy tales isn’t what they wanted. They wanted a weapon or useful knowledge. Books couldn’t keep the Navy at bay. She would not be here long anyways, best not to risk leaving anything behind.

\----

As they sailed away from Enies Lobby on this miracle ship that should not even still be afloat, Robin took a moment to do some digging in one of her secret hiding spots. When CP9 has first approached her the book of fairy tales has been safely tucked away on the ship. Not worth going back for, and at least she could leave them a momento if they ever did find it. Instead of remembering her through a book, they had chased her all the way the Isle of Justice. It was only fair to return the gesture even in part. Arms sprouted on Navigator’s and Long Nose’s shoulders tapping them and tugging on their sleeves dragging them towards the cabin door where Robin stood unsmiling with her hands behind her back. They stared at her expectedly as she moved the book from behind her, offering it up to them.

“I know it is a little late, but I was wondering if the offer still stood?”

 

Requests: 

Robin, Nami: A library


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy "helps" Franky with the blueprints of the new ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can check out Rocketspurs's art for this chapter here https://twitter.com/rocketspurs/status/1120124939896532992

Franky started down at Straw Hat’s list. The writing was so messy that he wasn’t sure if it was actually words or just scribbling. In desperation, he’d gone to Nico Robin. If she could read ancient languages, surely she could understand her captain’s hieroglyphs. Taking the list with a smile, she had returned half an hour later with a neatly handwritten list. Wonders never cease.

There were a few characters crossed out, rewritten and crossed out again on the list. He trusted that Nico Robin was being as accurate as possible. 

~~Everyone on board~~

~~Usopp~~

~~Sniperking~~

~~Uso~~

Ten beds

Lasers

A music room

Meat ship

A meat fridge

 

He was just going to pretend that he hadn’t read the phrase “meat ship”, it was a little too scary to think about. Straw Hat wanted Long Nose Bro on board, and that was something Franky could not do. He could build a ship, but rebuilding a relationship...that was something that took more than nails. He had overheard the giants talking, and it seemed like Long Nose might be bound for Elbaf. He liked the kid, but how could he argue with the lure of giants? All Franky could do was build the best damn ship he could, and try to entice Long Nose back. Franky stopped and shook his head, Straw Hat was getting to him. All he could think of was the way Long Nose Bro had cried over the Merry, and his refusal to accept its fate until Franky literally had to throw him in the sea to see for himself. Maybe it was best if he didn’t get involved with boats for awhile. A cool off phase after a break up. A period of mourning after a death. Franky knew boats weren’t people, but he still wasn’t quite sure if Long Nose Bro knew that. The klabautermann just clouded the issue further. Franky wasn’t going to build no talking boat. That took time, and only really came when the ship was done for. This ship was going all the way to the end.

As he carefully sketched out the plans, Franky could not ignore the Totally Not His Captain precariously balancing on one chair leg and attempting to spin, more often than not falling down to the ground in a heap. But every ten or fifteen times he managed it with a cheer. Straw Hat should do a variety act of all the dumb shit he pulled on a daily basis and get rich. Now if only he could do it quietly.

‘If you’re bored, go and bother Reindeer Gorilla or something.”

“Chopper is taking a nap. And so is Zoro. Everyone else is being boring, so I wanna see what you are doing.”

Straw Hat dragged over his wooden chair to be beside Franky, only to abandon it to clamber onto the drafting table and crouch, pointing enthusiastically at a random spot on the blue prints. Franky had never thought he would have to clean footprints off of blueprints.

“What’s that?”

“Oye! Don’t rip anything or I’ll throw you out!”

Straw Hat just smiled at him and tapped the spot again, lightly this time.

“Frannkyyyyy teeeelll meee about my boooooat.”

“That’s the main mast I was going to put-”

Straw Hat was already pointing somewhere else.

“What about this?”

“The bathroom.”

“Boring! What is this?” Another finger jab.

“That’s the kitchen door-”

Staring up from the map, directly into Franky’s eyes he asked. 

“Can you shoot lasers?”

“Nope. I do have my awesome air cannon though,” and Franky moved to assume his signature pose but froze when he saw the look on Straw Hat’s face. The damn pirate with a bounty of 100,000,000 was pouting at him like a child. 

“Awww not you too. I thought Chopper could shoot lasers but turns out he was just animalizing or something.”

Franky awkwardly put his arms down, he wasn’t feeling too super. Cyborgs are cool damn it, anyone could do lazers, air cannons packed a punch. Maybe if he tweaked the design a little…

 

Interrupting his train of thought, Straw Hat piped up again

“How tall are you?”

“7'4½.”

“Franky, I want all the doors on the ship to be 8 feet tall. Got it? Captain’s orders.”

And then he ran out as Franky stared at his back, mouth agape. Damn seducer.

He already had the basic outline for the doors. He had been thinking 7 feet to be on the safe side, so Nico Robin wouldn’t bump her head in the night and freeze his soul with a well placed glare. Even miles away at sea he was pretty sure she could still manage it. But if he was on board… He would be a easier target and even with a metal forehead bumping your head constantly was annoying. He had given himself a few extra inches every tune up ‘cause being tall was super. If a door was too small he could always smash through it. At sea though that would be a problem. He had a general idea for the shape for the doors- circular-since rounded corners helped with increased structural strength under pressure. It wouldn’t be that hard to increase the height of the doors a foot or two. Or to make it so they could be adjusted even higher. Straw Hat was aiming for the top, and Franky was going to make damn sure he didn’t hit his head on anything on the way up. It never hurt to be too careful. The ship of dreams needed to be able to fit anyone his the Captain might want on it.

Requests:

Luffy-  
Room for ten people  
8 foot tall door  
Lasers


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buried treasure is serious business

The shovel was sore in her hands. In the dark Nami could barely even see where she was digging. She could tell she was bleeding even in the dark, the shovel was slick with it and her hands stung. But still she dug. It was a small pit, Just deep enough that she could crouch in it unseen. She had tried other hiding spots, inside the map room, up trees and under her bed. Always a risk. Fish eyes following her every move, damn magpies. So underground was better, safer. This was probably deep enough... for now. Bellemere’s trees could keep it safe. They were still her trees no matter how much time had passed. Bellemere had always handled the tree care after all, Nojiko ’s and her only job had been to pick them, and then they had eaten most of them. These childish memories stung now, if they had eaten less, maybe Bellemere could have afforded to pay off Arlong...but that was foolish thinking. Bellemere was dead, Shot in front of her and her sister’s eyes. Bellemere wasn’t ever coming back and her pointless love had gotten her killed. They weren’t even a real family! She had died for nothing. Nami took a deep breath trying to firm that up in her mind. It was a fact, not up for debate, but still… oh still. If only it wasn’t. 

Nami shook her head. Harsh reality was all she had now, and cold hard cash. With enough, she could fix all of everything, buy back the village and kick out the Arlong Pirates forever. She only needed time, and for people to stop stealing her god damn treasure. She upended her rucksack into the hole. Though the bag had been filled to the brim, it didn’t even completely cover the floor of the hole. It wasn’t very deep, just barely poking above her head huddled in it, but it was long. She could lie down and her feet didn’t even reach the end. A rough rectangle. A grave. Not a friend in the world to cry over it. Nojiko could lay a flower or two if she wanted. No, it wasn’t a grave, it was a hiding spot for treasure. This wasn’t where she was going to end up, it was going to get her out of here. Get them all out of here. Even if they hated her for it for the rest of her life, which wouldn’t be very long. She let out a dry chuckle and sighed. It was time to go, if she spent anymore time here Arlong would realize something was wrong. He said he was a man of his word but still she couldn’t risk him discovering her hiding place. A game of cat and mouse, but really a cat and fish and the fish was a shark and...it wasn’t a perfect metaphor

Requests  
Nami- vault/safe


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Map Rooms

Hours and hours spent pouring over the maps ‘till her fingers bled. It was not her room, it was just a room she happened to be in. A prison cell. Drawing maps used to be fun, A daydream and half, a fun challenge. Now she dreaded it. She dreaded listening to the bumbling Hatchi try to explain the seafloor with his many hands waving about, Describing places she would never go. So she drew, and she drew, and she drew. She wouldn’t be surprised if they started making her draw in her own blood once the ink ran out. 

Either in the map room or sailing, she was always alone. There was no in between. Even when on the high seas surrounded by pirate crews she had snuck into to steal from. Alone in the map room it was so painfully quiet. Or it was too loud, too much, Arlong hanging over her shoulder checking every detail, excited to see her final work; excited to ruin someone else’s family. She was so tired of drawing the East Blue. All the adventure, the thrill of the open ocean was gone. It was the same boring sea floor after sea floor. She wanted something different. The fishman had originally come from the Grandline, and all the big name pirates were there. What if she flipped the script and went to the Grand Line herself? If she went, perhaps she could steal a fortune and free her village. 

Her dream of saving the village had long eclipsed her childish dream of drawing a map of the world. She wasn’t sure what she would do after - if, when- she freed the village. Do dreams starve? Shrivel up in the dark from neglect? Or do they die slowly on paper that curls on the edges? So many tear-stained maps. She wanted to tear them all to shreds and scream at the top of her lung; to never look at a map again and just stare at orange trees for the rest of her life. How awfully boring. Maybe she really was doomed to map out the bottom of the sea and never sail it. The world was too big, and too cruel. Dream small and close to your chest. 

She had heard rumours of some clown (literal or just incompetent or both she wasn’t sure) finding a map of the start of the Grand Line. Even if she couldn’t go, getting back was said to be impossible. Maybe she could profit off some poor suckers dream. Freedom was just a fool’s way of dying faster. Better the prison you know, then the threat you don’t. She could sell the map for a profit, and finally, finally free her village. She was so close she could almost taste it. She would be able to stare at that smug look of Arlong’s face as he counted his loot (HER LOOT) and sank back into the hell he came from. Even in her imagination it didn’t feel very satisfying. Satisfaction, hell, dreams in general were a luxury for the strong. She would settle with survival. 

 

Request

Nami-no map room


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frozen fairytales and flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to @chouwa_oto for translating a Russian fairytale for me! You can see it in the block quotes. This also has some dark imagery and talk of death so it is not for the faint of heart.

Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I’ve tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost 

Robin had been told before that she was a cold person. it was something she prided herself in keeping others at a distance and protecting herself above all else. Never getting emotionally attached. Usually this was not especially difficult. The crews she dealt with were only connected by the barest strings of loyalty in the first place. A mere pretence. No one became a pirate expecting to make friends. Now she just needed to sit the Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates down, and explain that... maybe with pictures.

They had just landed in Water Seven and were wandering the streets. The Doctor had begged her to come along with him to the bookstore, and she had agreed because saying no to the small Doctor was becoming increasingly difficult. 

Inside the store Robin was reminded that although she was a book lover, bookshelves were every assassins’ dream. You never knew who might be on the other side. She had been browsing the history section, which was about as sparse as she expected (killing historians tended to do that), when she found tucked in amongst the books: a box containing a number of small cloth bags. She picked one up out of curiosity (stupid stupid stupid, wolfsbane, thimbleweed, and belladonna, all kill with a touch). A small strawberry had been carefully drawn on it, underneath simply the word

“Seeds”

“You have a good eye sweetie”

Robin did not jump. The skin on her arms did not stand on end. She simply turned and meet the bookstore owner’s gaze with a small smile. She was an older woman, silvered hair hung loose around her neck, but with a voice that ran through Robin like a spear.

“These seeds are just a little joke of mine. History and the future. Knowledge and what you make of it”

Robin hummed noncommittally. The Adam Tree and the Library of Ohara were tied so closely in her mind that she could follow the woman’s logic.

“The beginning and the end,” came out like a breath, without her really thinking (the Captain was rubbing off on her).

“There, now you are getting it! Your hairy masked friend over there seems to be buying out my medical textbook section so you can have that one on the house”

Robin opened her mouth to argue, she wasn’t really a plant person, but the women went on “Oh how silly of me, you seem more like a flower person. I have some seeds that grow just the most beautiful Asters. Just give me a moment, I am sure they are here somewhere”

Flowers. A luxury she had never allowed herself to indulge in. The Flower-Flower Fruit had always seemed like it was named after a bad joke. Limbs sprout, but never flowers. It did not bring new life into the world, and she used it only to bring death. The other children at Ohara called her snow girl after that damn fairy tale and throw snowballs at her. Apparently she didn’t smile enough. That her eyes were like ice, lifeless. Resting ice face as they called it. If only they had known. They had no reason to fear her coldness, a great fire was coming to burn everything in its wake. One little snow girl was not going to do anything to hell on earth. No flowers bloomed in the snow or fire.

She had thought that her heart had frozen that day back in Ohara. Oh, what childish imagery. She had stayed up staring at the ceiling, imaging how Saul must have felt as he quickly froze to death. The ice creeping up the arms, chilling to the bone. 

There was that colourful imagery again. In search of cold hard facts, she had read numerous accounts of mountaineers stripping in the cold and going mad from the chill. On how the heart started to pound faster, and the freezing victims lost control of their bowels. Had Saul lost even his dignity in his final moments? The heart rate falls and things go dark. Even this was all second hand, and likely a lot of over dramatization- or at least so she thought. Until that moment. From out of nowhere, the man from her nightmares, her saviour returned and this time it was her turn. Now she finally understood what Saul most have felt back the, that this is how it truly felt to freeze to death. A frozen statue. She had not even had the chance to strike a dramatic pose. If she was going to die she wanted to be remembered. As one last warning to the world, she would stuck up her middle finger. Let them put that in the papers. Maybe next time. But of course all these dramatic thoughts mean nothing in the face of terror. Terror was always col, Shutting everything down.

She had maintained this constant state of tension, fresh ice on the lake, but then the Straw Hats had shown up. Jumping on cracks and not minding getting soaked. Here she was surrounded by books, thinking of the water damage, and she could not swim. She could not help but think of her own stolen book of fairy tales, and more particularly of the story that was not in it. A story too dark for the book’s whimsical nature but often told around the fireside on winter nights, her aunt staring at her side eyed as she told it.

 

> Once upon a time, in the cold north, there lived a woman who desperately wished for a child. However, she was not married and feared she was too old to conceive even if she was. In an attempt to fill the hole in her heart, one cold morning at the beginning of winter, she sculpted the most beautiful of creations from the freshly fallen snow. It was a girl who, despite her white features, looked so real the woman thought she saw her moving, breathing even. Of course, her eyes had to be deceiving her and she thought nothing of it, returning to her home, mourning something she had never had. Only to hear a knock on her door. The woman opened it and saw her snow girl standing in front of her. She had come to life. 

 

She had named the snow girl Alyona and raised her as her own. However happiness is always short lived. Mothers die and islands burn.

 

 

> Alyona’s mother fell gravely ill. The village doctor made a house call and his assessment was heartbreaking. Final. Keeping Alyona near for so long had caused her mother’s body to slowly freeze. Now the ice had reached her heart and there was nothing anyone could do for her. Within days, Alyona was alone for the first time in her life.

 

 

Even her mere presence brought death. Her coldness spreading to everyone she touched. First Saul, and now crew, after crew, after crew. They all crumbled in her wake, Not even by her own power. Just running and running hard. Never stay in the same place long enough to get attached, to get caught. She had stayed with Crocodile for years, but it was like balancing on the edge of his damn hook. Careful, always careful. Icicles hanging overhead, ready to fall

 

> One day, in Alyona’s most desperate moment, she approached the butcher and his family. A twig broke under her feet, making the butcher’s son jump around. He grabbed her in reflex and only seconds later, the boy’s hand had become as frosty as the girl’s. As he pulled his hand back in shock and fear – but not disgust, his parents noticed, too, what was happening. The butcher’s wife, the boy’s mother, yelled at Alyona to get away from them. Every “It was an accident” and “I didn’t mean to” were left unheard. Soon other villagers began arriving too, surrounding Alyona, but never touching her. They never touched her. All that had previously been fear in their eyes had turned to hate and disgust. Now they knew what she could be capable of and for this reason, she had to leave.

 

 

It was really only a matter of time before she left the Straw Hats. Soon they would tire of her, or the Marines would pounce and she would have to flee in the dead of night. Ready to run at a moments notice, Only bringing what she could carry she kept her steel knife safely in its thigh holster. Tucked away in a bag around her waist was flint, rope for escape or fuel, money for food and passage, a chunk of soap, a sandwich (tucking away a few of the numerous sandwiches the cook had inundated her with had been easy), a bit of chocolate (not for the Doctor as he seemed to think every time he remembered to beg for some), ground coffee in case she wanted to whip up a cup or throw it in someone’s eyes, and of course her book. She had gotten sloppy though, on this particular outing the book was back on the ship and she only had her knife on her.

 

> Alyona found shelter in a shallow cave, where she stayed day and night. One morning, the sun broke through the clouds and its rays entered the cave without Alyona’s knowledge. She was still dozing after a restless night filled with nightmares, so at first she didn’t notice the sun warming her snowy arm. When she did, jumping back, her skin had already started dripping water. With a quick look later, in the safety of the shadows, Alyona realized there was nothing to be done to her arm. The part that melted was now misshapen and likely would stay that way. Even further down the cave, she could feel the warmth the sun radiated and it occurred to Alyona that spring was approaching.

 

Thawing out meant death. It was a small death each time she could not hold in the smile at the Captain’s antics, every time she got lost in a book on deck, and actually sleeping through the night instead of waking up every hour on the hour to make sure they had not sold her out. The Straw Hats were going to kill her one day. Robin knew this in her heart, but she wanted to draw it out just a little bit longer. It would be a slow, beautiful death. Piece by piece melting away until nothing remained but the clothes on her back. Sometimes she could feel herself drifting away on deck, the temptation to just let herself go and not have the constant tension in her bones was just so strong. It did not quite feel real, having a crew she trusted with her life. Robin pinched herself, it was not real. They were children and once they learned the truth, it would all be over. She was taking advantage of their ignorance and she refused to feel guilty for it. Let them hate her for it, it would only make leaving easier.  
“Maybe this book will help you choose which seeds you want”  
Robin blinked. She had completely forgotten the women was there. Another death. She took the book from the woman’s wrinkled hands and looked at the cover

“The Secret Language of Flowers”

The bookstore keeper was sadly mistaken. It was kind of silly really, the idea that she might be able to keep something alive. She had always liked flowers, beautiful, simple, but with hidden meaning. A secret language known only to few. If only Ponoglyphs had been giant gardens instead. Except those burned just the same as books. Harder to leave behind a message of weapons when the worst you can say is ‘forsaken.’

Robin flipped through, small pictures of flowers each with a paragraph of text beside it greeted her. A bit of text jumped out, “Sunshine in your smile” and her first thought was of the Captain. A yellow tulip, how apt. She wondered if the Captain would try to eat one. She shook her head.lowers were not meat, they were safe. Probably. She flipped idly through the pages, when she spotted it. Blood red with three swordlike petals: Gladioluses. Sword lilies. Strength of character and devotion. The way the swordsman tracked everyone’s movement, especially the Captain’s, as he lay on the deck “napping”. Indifferent but always there watching and waiting. She could not help but think of him screaming at the “God” for her. She was not worthy of this devotion, this loyalty. 

Now that she had started she could not seem to stop. The Doctor would be a crocus, “Youthfulness”. He was practically bursting at the seams with it. His pure glee at being on this ship with this crew was dangerously contagious. She had heard he was from a winter island, the image of small purple flowers poking out of the snow popped into her head. A sign that winter was almost over, that all the snow and ice had to melt away eventually. Life finds a way. Maybe flowers could grow in snow after all. 

Long Nose was easy. Thyme for courage and strength that he did not think he had but overflowed with. The Navigator would be an orange rose for desire; greedy for everything including friendship, and gold, mostly gold. The Cook was fennel for flattery and its use in cooking. It would be nice to gather all of these in a garden. To have a spot of earth of her own. Impossible on the run on the high seas, let alone a small pirate ship. You could not take a garden with you. A small voice in her head argued that the navigator found a way to bring along her orange trees but before she could think of a response, she heard a voice in her ear.

“CP9.”

Ah yes. The final death. The one she had been waiting for all along. She smiled closing the book and handed it back to the bookstore owner.

“Thank you for everything.” 

Words meant for another. She turned and greeted her death a smile.

 

> It took her days to muster the courage to step outside, as one takes a long time preparing to die. She’d chosen the perfect day, for the sun was nice and warm on her snowy skin. Although these moments were to be her last, Alyona enjoyed the sun warming up her body, closing her eyes. It felt like her mother’s embrace, whom she missed so much. She felt herself turning into water, though she didn’t dare look. After a moment’s consideration, she sat down, fearing she’d fall over otherwise.  
>  Soon, her fingers were gone and she was sure he couldn’t even open her eyes anymore even if she wanted to. At least it didn’t hurt physically. Her last thought before her body collapsed was of her mother, hoping they’d meet in the afterlife.

 

***  
Robin watched as the World Government flag burned. The whole crew was just across the gap on the roof, staring down the world for her. She could feel the heat from the burning flag from here. Thawing out her bones. A silly thought popped up in her head, as they always do in the most serious of life or death situations. A small yellow weed that grew up no matter what you did to it. Tansy. Such a humble plant but it stood before the world with one simple meaning: “I declare war on you”. She had tried assigning flowers to the crew before but none of them felt quite right. She was wrong, they were tansies all along, a whole crew of them. Do your worst, you can not kill us. After running for death so long, uprooting herself time after time, she had finally grown roots. Her touch was not frost. She was not the little girl in the story. Thawing out did not mean death. Her most secret wish could come true. So she screamed it out as loud as she could.

“I WANNA LIVE”

And maybe plant a flower bed or two.

 

> It took her days to muster the courage to step outside, as one takes a long time preparing to die. She’d chosen the perfect day, for the sun was nice and warm on her snowy skin. Although these moments were to be her last, Alyona enjoyed the sun warming up her body, closing her eyes. She felt herself turning into water, though she didn’t dare look. After a moment’s consideration, she sat down, fearing she’d fall over otherwise.  
>  The sun rose and with that, it grew warmer. But Alyona didn’t melt, or not as life-ending as she had feared. When she absolutely convinced herself she was allowed to take a peek, she cracked one eye open to assess her broken body. Only she was confused by what she saw. Instead of finding snow and ice on her body, as her body, she was looking down at the body of a human being. It took awhile for her to figure out she was looking at herself, couldn’t quite believe her eyes. Her skin was still pale, but not made of snow anymore, and as she looked down, light blond curls fell past her face. 

 

Request

Robin- a flowerbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find @rocketspurs art piece for this chapter here https://twitter.com/rocketspurs/status/1120090547203522561


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toilet shenanigans

With five people on board, one bathroom was often tricky at best. Sure when four of them- the highly sanitary guys of the crew- are peeing over the sides it’s fine. Not hygienically speaking. But purely for convenience sake, it wasn’t usually all that bad. But everyone shits eventually and sometime the shit clocks align.

Nami knocked on the bathroom door.

The response came instantly “In a mmiiinnutteeeeeeee!”

“Luffy get out of there before I pick the lock and drag you out!”

“But Naaaaammiiiiiiiii.”

She heard the toilet flush which must be a good sign

There was beat of silence and another flush, and another, and another. This was little worrying. She called out again.

“Luffy, if you do it too many times in a row it doesn’t do anything!”

She heard a distinct click (toilets definitely aren’t supposed to click) and Luffy opened the door. He whizzed by her laughing.

“All yours Nami!”

She grabbed hold of his ankle, just in case, before he comply disappeared. It took a few seconds for gravity to kick in but he fell almost jerking her down with him. At the same time she was hit by a wall of smell. It was bad, but not the worst that Luffy had ever made her nose suffer (her Captain was usually oddly proud of his smells, Usopp and him had tried to bottle it for combat, she never did hear how it turned out). Except it was so much worse. There was water on the floor, brown water, it was seeping out out from underneath the toilet lid. She stared at the toilet in disbelief. Not only had her dumbass Captain clogged the toilet, he had broken the god damn flusher as well. She turned around, mouth open to scream and saw Luffy whistling as he tried to shove the toilet flusher down his pants.

She grabbed her staff from its leg holster and whacked him in the back of the head. The resulting bobble was only a little satisfying.

“What was that for?”

He looked back at her with such innocent eyes.

She whacked him again.

From his napping position on deck Zoro said,“Save the beating for after we fix the toilet”

Actual wise words from him for once, so Nami put on her best cutesy voice. 

“Oh Usopp!!” and out he popped as if summoned instantly by her call.

“Ma’am! Yes Ma’am!” He peeked behind her and assessed the damage. 

“Can you fix it?” The question of the hour. 

“Well, I could try making a plunger but that might take a bit.”

“Use him as a plunger. They’re part rubber right? Just put him on a stick.” She glared over at Luffy. He at least had the decency to gulp.The next second he was jumping around Zoro trying to grab one of his swords.

“Zoro poke it with your sword! You have three! It is just greedy! Oh and a poopy sword is twice as deadly! Cause it is number two!”

Zoro placed his hand protectively on his white sword and made as if to draw it.

“The first person to try to put a sword in the toilet, dies by that sword.”

Luffy tilted his head.

“What about the second person?”

“They will also get a sword up the ass.”

“Stupid Zoro, asses are where poop comes from, duh!”

Luffy laughed and Zoro interrupted before the inevitable next question. 

“And same for the third person!”

Luffy let out a belly laugh and pumped his fists in the air.

“So the fourth person can clear the toilet right? You are out of swords!”

Nami sighed. She didn’t even want to point out they were literally a crew of five, one clogged toilet was going to wiped out almost half their crew. So she just punched Luffy instead. Less thinking involved and it got the message across. 

Luffy smiled.

“Sorry, sorry. Oh I know! What if I punch it!”

Zoro lowered the blade and laughed.

“Punch the poop?”

Luffy rotated his arm, preparing for a punch.

“I could take it.”

A quote to put under Usopp’s list of things said shortly before a disaster. But she still had time. She grabbed his grubby fist and tried to reason with him.

“No Luffy, if you do that the toilet is going to break! Then we will have shit everywhere!”

“Nami’s right. We already have the Cook for that.”

Nami heard something break in the kitchen. God damn it Zoro. She could worry about the oncoming Sanji storm later. Nami had had enough. 

“So what are we going to do? I need to go, NOW. I can’t go over the side of the ship like you guys. We need a toilet. If we don’t have a toilet we are just animals.”

“I’ll handle this” Zoro untied his bandana with a flourish and promptly tied it around his head. How dramatic. He took a step forward and grabbed on to her boa staff. So she kicked him in the left knee, as hard as she could. He stumbled for a second and she managed to wrench it back from him. 

“If your precious swords can’t go in the toilet, neither can this.”

“Hands off the lady, Mosshead.”

Perfect timing. Sanji was posed behind Zoro with his left foot in the air. He would have cut a dramatic figure, except for in his hands was the tea kettle with the red and yellow tea cozy Usopp had knit for it.

“I step away for a minute to make tea for Nami, and you brutes attack her? I made enough for everyone, I even brought scones.”

Sanji lowered his leg, grabbing the tray of scones off his foot and set it (his foot not the tray) on the ground with a thud.

Nami shrugged. “You can beat Zoro up later. We have a code brown.”

Sanji bit down on his cigarette.

“Again? This is the third time this week! Lucky for you lot we had this problem in the Baratie more times then I am willing to admit. We couldn’t keep waiters, let alone cleaning staff so that also fell on me. I have seen some shit, literally. All we need is hot water and some dish soap. I have some left over from the tea, and I have an old bottle of dish soap somewhere probably. Just give it half an hour and it should be clear. “

Which would be ideal but Nami had already waited an hour for Luffy to get out of the bathroom. Deep breaths and just focus on not shitting her pants. She could make it, she had to. She could see Usopp eyeing her and trying to put a brave face, she tried to smile at him. It came out as more of a grimace.

 

“I probably have a bucket somewhere…” Usopp half whispered to her

“A LADY AS BEAUTIFUL AND AS MAJESTIC AS NAMI SWAN COULD NEVER...NEVER um, never use a bucket for such an unbecoming reason”

Nami ignored Sanji’s frantic spinning and grabbed Usopp by his overalls

“Get me the damn bucket. I’m going to the other side of the ship. Cover your ears and don’t come over unless you wanna owe me 500,000”

 

Requests

Nami-a wider toilet hole, multiple toilets


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cotton Candy Lover Tony Tony Chopper

Today might just be the best day of Tony Tony Chopper’s life. In his fourteen years he had a few good days: first meeting Dr Hiriluk, when he passed Doctorine’s Doctor Exam, and joining the Straw Hats. Most of those were tinged with sadness though. Today was just pure unadulterated fun/joy, oh and fear because everything is always a little scary on the high seas. That is what made it fun, according to Luffy and sometimes Usopp (in his stories). Long Ring Long Land was just so weird and funny, who would believe they had actually seen a foooooooooooooooxxx? Until the split head shot the horse, then it had gotten serious. But instead of fighting like they usually did, they were going to play a game? Split Head’s crew was setting up something that Usopp said looked like a festival. Red and white striped tents and stores selling awesome badges. Chopper had begged Nami for a raise in his allowance and she had agreed only if he promised not to buy a single badge. So he wandered around eyeing the food stalls. There was one selling a fluff pink thing that made him think of the pink snow as he left Drum. 

Biting into it, it was like eating a cloud. The clouds on Sky Island had just tasted of water but this was deliciously sweet. Pure unadulterated sugar. He would follow it until the ends of the earth. Would Nami give him enough money to buy the whole stand? He watched eagerly as the attendant spun the small white stick around the metal barrel and slowly became bigger and bigger. It was like a magic trick.

 

“My first selection is none other than you! The doctor. Tony Chopper!”

Suddenly the sweetness went sour. This was just fun and games. They never lost. Why him, why now? A awful selfish thought came unbidden. Would he get free cotton candy if he was on Split Head’s crew? He shoved the thought away, hard, tears already coming to his eyes. He had only become a pirate for Luffy, not Split Head. He wanted to see how big the world really was. Dr Hiriluk had said his problems were so much smaller than the world, and he wanted to see it all. To see real cherry blossoms. None of that mattered if it was not with the Straw Hats. He could not lose them, not like this. Not over something so stupid. They had faced down a lightning god (for most of their time in Sky Island, Chopper’s fur had been standing on end, it was super annoying) but some Split Head with a slow slow fruit was going to beat them? Who was going to check Zoro’s stitches. Could he bring his medical textbooks? Usopp had not finished telling the story of the giant with a slingshot yet. There was so much more he wanted to learn. He wouldn’t get to fish with Luffy and Usopp anymore. What if the new crew did not like fishing? The tears started and they would not stop no matter how much he sniffed.

They had to carry him away screaming. His crewmates just standing by and watching, horrified. Nami called out, “Oh no, Chopper!”  
It felt like a dream. A bad dream. Any moment now he would wake up.

The ones holding him ignored her and passed him onto the Split Head. He rubbed his cheek against Chopper and Chopper felt like he was going to throw up.

“Such a rare creature. Your even softer than I imagined!”

And next thing he knew he was being passed over to the blue haired woman, her named was Portia, maybe? Sure the Straw Hats had used him for warmth in Alabasta but it was just cuddles. This was impersonal, like he was a glorified teddy bear. He was a reindeer, damn it! Luffy often used him as a pillow for naps and so did Zoro. But Chopper wanted to nap too and if he really wanted to get away he could sneak out or switch with Usopp. It had been a little scary when one afternoon on the ship, Luffy has turned to him and said in a sing song voice ‘Pillow, you came back”’ chasing him around the deck. In the end Chopper had been ready for a nap himself. It was probably a joke that started with Usopp or Zoro maybe. Joining after the crew had been together for so long, sometimes he didn’t quite understand what was going on. Usopp usually explained if he stared long enough. He was getting better at recognizing when he was lying, but that was half the fun. Now he was not going to be there for the next inside joke, prank on Zoro, or cuddle session.

“JUST SO DAMN CUTE!!” Split Head was still going on. “And he is ours now!”

Chopper couldn’t help but scream, desperately trying to push himself away from Portia.

“NO! NO! NO!”

He was a one pirate crew reindeer. He could see the crew talking and it was probably wrong that he felt a little relieved that they were in distress. 

The tears and snot started to flow 

“You guys...”

The unspoken ‘please please help me’

“Alright Doctor Chopper, enough of all that, you are part of my crew now. You need to pledge your loyalty to me. And you can start by putting on this mask.”

He wanted to scream, ‘I am not your Doctor you bastard’, but he could not say it through the tears. Luffy had never asked for a pledge of loyalty. Just ‘shut up and come’. He had not made Chopper wear anything special and had put up with Chopper being sea sick for the first day or so before he could stop puking enough to make anti seasick medication. Joining the Straw Hats had felt like such a big moment, as if a whole other world unfurled before him. Now it was all going away. That big wide world shrinking before his eyes. He would be stuck playing pirate games forever, not even the fun ones like tag. 

 

His new crewmates were saying something, but he tuned them out as he watched Usopp cry and Zoro drink.

“YOU GUYS! LISTEN! I ONLY WENT OUT TO SEA BECAUSE OF YOU! I WON’T! NO! I REFUSE! LUFFY YOU INVITED ME! I SET SAIL TO BE ONE OF THE STRAW HATS!”

Luffy was dry-eyed and flat faced. He had expected more, had he meant so little to Luffy after all?

“I WON’T GO WITH THEM!”

It was an absolute iron clad rule. A line drawn in the snow around his heart. The Straw Hats or no one. Humans had broken his heart before, and now they were doing it again. The people of the village had feared him, and he had killed Dr Hiriluk. Everyone leaves in the end. It always gets torn away. As a doctor he knew that death was inevitable, a fact of life. He thought only death could part them. But this silly game and its silly rules might just mean he would never see his crew again. The tears just kept pouring out. He did not even try to hold in his sobs. 

“PLEASE NO! I AM THE SHIP DOCTOR OF THE STRAW HAT PIRATES, TONY TONY CHOPPER!”

And he screamed it cause it was a truth seared into him like a brand. 

“I WON’T GO!”

Not now, not ever. 

Zoro slammed down his drink.

“Quit your bellyaching, Chopper. It is disgraceful.”

Easy to say when you were on the crew. Chopper pushed that thought away. Zoro continued to speak, staring somewhere above Chopper’s hat.

“You made the choice to set sail as a pirate.”

Well, Luffy had basically ordered him on board

“Only you. And now you have to live with the consequences of that decision. We agreed to the terms of this game.”

Because we never thought we could lose. We were still high on beating a god, on going on an adventure in the sky. And one trip around the island had torn it all apart.

“You, Usopp, and everyone else did the best they could.”

And it was not good enough. The proof was in the mask Chopper had been forced to wear.

Zoro stood up, finally looking at Chopper.

“Not a single pirate worth his salt is going to sympathize with those tears. A man would suck it up and quietly watch the rest of this game.”

Before he could even begin to process this, his mind was still numb. He heard Nami call out “What is wrong with you? Don’t you know how he must be feeling?”. 

Chopper rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the tears. Zoro was right, this was no time to be throwing a temper tantrum. It was time to be a man, and have faith in his crew. ‘The rest of this game’. There was still two more matches. They could win him back; it was not over, not by a long shot. 

“Boil me, or cook me alive. GIVE ME YOUR WORST YOU BASTARDS” 

Not an oath. He would not give them that. No matter what Zoro said. 

He thought he heard Zoro say “Atta boy.” and suddenly it did not seem all that bad maybe. Zoro was already turning to walk away. Off to the second match. 

-ONE BALL GAME LATER-

He was back, really back. Luffy had chosen him, if he had done something ridiculous like chosen a horse or Split Head, Chopper did not think his heart could have taken it. The palpitations has been all over the place, first the delicious cotton candy, being taken away and now the return. There was only so much strain a heart could take. 

The third and final match was about to begin, but Chopper was too busy trying to treat Zoro’s new wounds to pay too much attention to the pre planning. How Zoro managed to constantly re-injure himself was a mystery not even the great detective Usopp could solve. As he tied a new bandage, he peered over trying to meet Zoro’s eyes.

“About what you said earlier...”

“I meant every word I said. All that crying was giving me a headache”

Chopper gave up on trying to meet his eyes and stared hard at the now tied bandage, he tied it a little tighter and still Zoro didn’t flinch.

“What would you have done if you had been up there?”

“Not cried, that is for damn sure.”

“So what would you have done?”

“Not ‘of said an oath. Waited for you guys to win me back. ”

“But what if we did not?”

Zoro turned to Chopper 

“Before I joined with Luffy, I was a glorified bounty hunter, the only reason I turned pirate was because of Luffy. I would have mutinied. Killed the Split Head if I had to and met up with you guys.”

‘But the Slow Slow Beam-”

“I wouldn’t let something stupid like that stop me. Everyone sleeps eventually.”

So cool. Zoro was always too cool, one day Chopper hoped he could reach even half of Zoro’s level. But there was something that was bothering him. 

“Crying does not make you less of a man, you know that right?”

Zoro glared at him.

“It is true. Bottling all that up is bad for you. That is why you have us! You can talk to us or ask for help! Being strong is great, but I don’t want Zoro to be sad and lonely all by himself.”

Zoro huffed

“Someone’s gotta have some backbone”

“It doesn’t make you cool, it makes you an idiot. And there is no cure for that, which is why you need a doctor around to keep your condition under control.” at that Chopper crawled his way into Zoro’s lap and hunkered down

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say Doc” Zoro looked over to see Luffy enter the ring sporting an Afro, and shrugged. He continued to absent mindedly pat Chopper’s head as he whined

“That doesn’t make me happy at all you bastard”

 

Request: 

Chopper-Cotton Candy Machine


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not hide in the fridge

Sanji had had enough. There was a bite mark. In the butter. An actual human being (give or take a reindeer) hd snuck into his kitchen, saw the whole plethora of food, and decided that no, butter was all they wanted. Enough was enough. The fridge was a sacred place, a bounty of food preserved from mold and the like, and his dumbass Captain (it was always Luffy, always) had tarnished it. He could understand being peckish and sneaking into the pantry for a cookie or three. He had done it at the Baratie more times then he could count, but in the end, Zeff took to sleeping in the kitchen and sleep kicking him out. But butter? Eating straight butter after just a few hours ago eating half of both Usopp and Chopper’s meals and a quarter of Zoro’s (Sanji had protected Nami and Robin’s with his life, he almost lost a foot damn it) on top of his own portion was too far. He could not take it anymore. Every morning something was missing from the fridge. Or Usopp and Chopper joined in so the entire thing was cleared out. Even the stuff in the freezer vanished into their stomachs since Usopp kind of knew how to fry stuff. Sanji wasn’t even sure if Chopper even ate meat but he was still just as guilty. Nothing Sanji did worked: threatening them, following them into the kitchen,even sleeping in front of the door of the boy’s cabin didn’t work. It was time to take drastic measures.

It was pitch black inside the fridge, something he had not factored into his planning. He had planned for the cold though, wearing his winter coat and mittens. He could not see the thermometer thanks to the dark, but he knew the fridge should be approximately 0 degrees celsius. If anything he was sweating a little. He’d moved stuff around and gone a little overboard on dinner to make sure he would fit. It was still a tight fit, he could feel the eggs digging into his right side, and his head pressed against the ceiling. Maybe people over 5’9 just weren’t meant to be inside fridges. He was on a mission though. He was going to catch Luffy in the act and kick his ass until he learned his lesson. Sanji was pretty sure the scare would be enough to keep Luffy away, for a few days at least, maybe a week. Except his knees were starting to cramp up, and he needed a smoke. 

Smoking in the fridge was a bad idea. A confined space full of food and smoke did not follow proper health and safety standards. Sure smoked meats were a thing and he smoked in the kitchen all the time, but hot boxing on cigarette smoke would probably actually kill him. So the cigarettes stayed in his jacket pocket. He could always have a victory smoke after he scared the living shit out of his captain. If only the damn kid would show up. The one night Luffy doesn’t raid the fridge is the one night he hides in it. Sanji’s back was starting to itch and he could not budge an inch even to try to rub it against the back wall. As the seconds ticked by, Sanji was confronted with the awful truth: he was bored. 

Only a minute or two had passed since entering the fridge and Sanji already wanted to scream or at least spread his legs. His left hand was starting to cramp up so he tried to stretch it out and lost his balance a little. He thudded against the side of the fridge, shaking it and he heard something shatter. Great. His entire left arm was soaked, hopefully it wasn’t anything that would stain. He took a sniff and wrinkled his nose. The fridge now reeked of sake. He must smell like the Mosshead now. Just a matter of running his suit under cold water and scrubbing it with soap for half an hour or so. He was going to kick the Mosshead for this later. Damn Swordsman should keep his stupid sake on the deck at room temperature and like it god damn it. Sanji tried to stay absolutely still, he could feel some of the glass digging into his arm. His hand felt fine, he could still cook. It was all right. Alcohol was sterilizing after all. He might have Chopper give it a look over, just in case. He wasn’t sure how much patient doctor confidentiality there was on the ship, but maybe he could bribe the Doctor into not talking. Mosshead was going to pissed when he realized one of his drinks was missing. Fighting him was always fun and a good way to stretch his legs but he might just blame it on….who else in the crew even drank? Nami? Couldn’t blame it on the goddess, it was against his code. Shit, what if Nami opened the fridge for a lovely well deserved snack and Sanji scared her? He would have to jump overboard to preserve his honour. Or cook up some Orange Meringue Pie for her. He began to tick off the ingredients one by one. Anything to kill the boredom. 

Graham Crackers were in the pantry. He had used them for S’mores night last week and hidden the remaining crackers in the flour (Luffy had yet to eat straight flour but it was only a matter of time). Sugar was a little low because Sanji had to keep stopping the good Doctor from shoving his whole hairy head in the bag. Probably enough for ¼ a cup. The butter was still good, he had cut out the bite mark and used it to grease the pan for a mandatory Luffy meat snack. Where was his shitty Captain? He took a deep breath but it caught in his chest and he coughed instead. More ingredients, he needed to list more. On to the filling. 

Half a cup of water was easy. He wouldn’t even need to pump up some with the bike. The eggs beside him were most likely fine. He needed three yolks, the whites could be used for macaroons at the ladies’ afternoon tea. Lime juice was trickier but when he had climbed in the fridge he had spotted a bottle in the back corner. He could feel it digging it into his side now. So that was lucky. The Orange Meringue Pie had to be perfect for...for who again? He had been planning this for a reason, but he couldn’t seem to remember. His head was starting to ache, and no matter how hard he blinked it wouldn’t go away. It didn’t matter. Orange zest was the next ingredient for the filling, he would beg some oranges off Nami (Nami! The meringue was for Nami!) and grate a bit of the peel. Save the rest for later. Butter again, desserts were awfully repetitive. Maybe he should have picked something more complex. The walls of the fridge were beginning to spin and he couldn’t even see the damn walls. Why was he in the fridge, why was he in the fridge? It felt as if someone had sent the fridge over board and he was slowly sinking deeper and deeper underwater. The pressure in his ears was probably just his imagination. He tried to take a breath to calm himself down, but it was dangerously shallow instead. He rocked back trying to breath again, but again nothing. His forehead was wet with sweat and he could feel salt water squeaking its way out of his eyes. He needed to breath. He needed to get out, now. Sanji kicked out at the dark, and nothing happened. 

A memory came floating back to him, bobbing before his eyes. Of when they bought their first fridge for the Baratie. His old man had hunched down to meet his eyes and warned him that the fridge locked from the inside, was air tight and not a place for playing. Playing. That he didn’t want his only son to suffocate over a game of hide and seek. Seek. How stupid could he be. Stupid. A chef must know his equipment like the back of his hand. Hand. Killed by his own fridge. Fridge. He was going to murder Luffy for making him do this. This. He could do that later, for now he just needed to get out of the fridge and change his jacket. Jacket.

He shook his head to clear that damn echo and bracing himself. He kicked out again, properly this time, and the door went flying ,crashing into the food barrels. Something squealed. He took a breath and sweet sweet air came pouring back into his lungs. The fridge was definitely broken but it was nothing that Usopp couldn’t fix. Probably. He took another breath and pulled out a cigarette, he deserved it. Nothing like killing your lungs after they just tried to kill you. His hand shook as he tried once, twice, and finally three times to get a light. Tobacco was a wonderful thing for his nerves. He still felt a little dizzy but he could have sworn he heard a small “Shi shi”, coming from the magical squealing barrel of food.

“Luffy?”

The pile of barrels and a certain fridge door replied, “No”

A pair of flip flops were poking out from underneath the fridge door

“Okay Not My Captain. If you get out of here in three seconds and swear to never tell a soul, I won’t use you as a bouncy ball”

“Sir yes sir!”

And Sanji was alone. Time to get to to work cleaning his suit. 

Requests: 

Sanji-A fridge with a lock, a fridge that opens from the inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up to 1956 there were a number of deaths of children from hiding in fridges and getting locked in. They have since changed fridges so that they can be opened from the inside but it does still happen. So please for the love of god don't hide in a fridge ever. Sanji is an idiot do not do what Sanji does


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A crowded hotel room and a missing noise

Nami stared down at the Perfect Climitact. She sat on the bed, idly spinning it between her fingers. It had a good balance, for a rush job. With the discovery of dials, her own Climitact has been in dire need of an upgrade (minus a few flowers or two). Usopp had finished it only a few days ago and given her another ‘How To Guide’ pamphlet to boot.This time she had made a point to actually read over it, double checking that there were no stupid party tricks in it. She had the hang of it now, which was a good thing considering she might never see the man who made it again. Usopp was gone. 

The remaining crew was camped out in a hotel, instead of on the Merry where they belonged. Because the Merry was dying. Broken beyond repair, it could no longer sail. It was a ship, it couldn’t live or die. It was an animate object. Usopp didn’t seem to able to accept that though,. He loved the Merry. Too much perhaps. She could understand his feelings, a little. The Merry was the first place that she had actually forgotten about the threat of Arlong hanging over her head, for five whole seconds. It had scared her so badly that she had run, taking the ship with her. Ignoring reality could get everyone she cared about killed. She could have just snuck away on another boat but taking it was a kind of insurance. That she would have to bring it back to them one day. Anything had seemed possible on that ship. Instead they had chased after her, refusing to accept her apparent betrayal. Friendship was something that always seemed impossible, but there they were punching their way into her heart. Only friendship wasn’t enough this time. 

She stared up at the hotel room ceiling. Parts of it were sagging in places, a pitiful sight. With the money gone, it was the best they could afford. A room with a single bed and Nami had had to wink at the poor receptionist until she had given them a free cot. She had simply nodded when Nami had insisted that Chopper was a family pet and was definitely house trained. ‘Just a pet reindeer, nothing to see here’. She suspected the poor woman had just wanted them out of her hair. Nami had the bed pretty much to herself, with Chopper curled up in Walk Point at the foot of it. Luffy had taken the cot and immediately passed out. Zoro was fast asleep, sitting up, with his back against the door. The doors barely locked, a good kick would knock the lock loose. As Zoro had so helpfully pointed out right before closing his eyes. Sweet dreams, you might get killed in your sleep.

With all of them huddled together like this, part of her couldn’t help but think that Usopp had gotten a little mixed up about it all. It wasn’t the ship, but the people on it. As long as they were together they could do anything. Even take down a self proclaimed ‘God’. But now they weren’t together. Robin and Usopp were gone and the fate of the crew was uncertain. Luffy was going to keep moving forward and Nami knew she would follow. It was so tempting to look back though, as she didn’t have his idiot tunnel vision. Luffy was as stupid as he looked, but he was dangerously perceptive when he wanted to be. He tied you to him so tightly that you could never dream of letting go. Except Usopp had found a way. Slipped loose from Luffy’s rubbery embrace like it was nothing.

Nami wasn’t big on trusting people, on letting someone in and seeing her for all she was. Better to be seen as a heartless thief, than as someone with actual feelings. It was so much easier to be heartless. For years, upon years, the only people she had trusted were Nojiko and Genzo. Period. Closing off everyone else meant she wouldn’t lose anyone again. Only, Usopp had weaseled his way into her heart, just like the rest of the crew. She had the scar on her hand to prove it.That meant nothing now. He had left anyways. 

Losing a friend over a fight seemed so childish. Only she knew it was so much bigger than that. This wasn’t some childish fight where she could just hit their heads together and make them get along, like she could Zoro and Sanji. This was a matter of trust and pride. Trust in Luffy’s judgment, and swallow your damn injured pride. They should just be goofy all the time and save her a lot of heartache. Looking back on it now, she could see the seeds of discontent. When she had asked Usopp to make her a weapon so that she could keep up, he had seemed agast and told her, “of course you belong here”. That little note of emphasis, that he wasn’t worthy. It made her so angry, his damn self pitying talk. She wanted to scream “THAT IS MY FRIEND YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!” but it was her friend saying it in the first place. The self pity was also a shield, an excuse not to try, hiding a wounded pride that ate away at Usopp piece by little piece. She had seen the way Usopp flinched when Robin called him Long Nose. Everyone else’s nickname was their position on the ship, but Usopp was only a nose. Robin meant no harm by it, probably, it was away of distancing herself that Nami was very familiar with. She should have pulled Robin aside and suggested tinker or shooter, sling shot man or anything else. She didn’t know if Robin would just laugh at her, and now she would never know. 

Too many unknowns. Better to focus on reality. Or on cold hard cash. At least now that Usopp was gone, she didn’t have to worry about paying him back for the Ultimate Climitact. She tried to balance the numbers in her head, who owed who how much. Zoro was so far into debt with her that it was only really worth counting to tease him about his ever raising interest. Usopp was a different story as he actually had a bit of money. All the loose change he had dug up from his house and the parting gift from his ‘not” girlfriend (carefully hidden on the ship so he couldn’t refuse) meant he did have a bit of pocket change on him for shopping trips. He had still ended up amassing a sizable debt but was it enough to tie him to her? Money was such a funny thing. It could ruin a relationship or bind you even tighter. A debt is a promise that you have to come back. Maybe she could send debt collectors after him. Who was she kidding, if it meant that Usopp would come back, she would gladly break her Ultimate Climitact over her knee (it was pretty sturdy so that might not even actually work) and forgive all his debts. Only she knew that wasn’t enough. This wasn’t about her. It was between Luffy and Usopp. 

Luffy was fast asleep on the cot beside her, and she couldn’t help but glare at him a little. He had fallen asleep the moment he hit the pillow. The snot from all the crying earlier only made his snoring worse. She didn’t like to think about Luffy crying after the fight. It felt wrong. He was always smiling, laughing off blows with ease. Usopp has hit him where it hurt. The only vulnerable spot the rubber man had, besides knives and water. His heart. His tears made her heart ache and she hated herself for being relieved when Zoro had spoken up. Telling him to act like a Captain. Even if it was right, it still felt awful. Were they only crew and not friends? Was what Luffy screamed at her in the ruins of Arlong Park a lie? One fight had poisoned everything. Nami threw down the climitact, letting it clatter on the wooden floor. She refused to let it end here, not like this. The ache in her head and chest stayed. She knew it wasn’t Luffy’s fault, but she needed to blame someone and thinking about Usopp hurt worse.

Everything was falling apart and she wasn’t sure if they were strong enough to take it. First Robin, and now Usopp. Who would leave next? Not Zoro, he would follow Luffy anywhere, like a loyal dog. Sanji was harder to read. He seemed as if he would follow any pretty face that smiled at him, but Nami suspected he was made of thicker stuff. Besides, he wouldn’t be able to stand Zoro’s jeers if he did try sneak off. Would they fight for real if Sanji tried to leave? How many more times must she see her friends fight? How many times would she have to watch Luffy’s heart break? 

Chopper was easy. He was 14, but still acted like a child. If he left, where would he even go? Back to Drum? Where would any of them go on this cursed sea? And what of Robin? Had she really left without a word or was she simply out gathering information? Were they just another easy mark to her? The Admiral had said, every organization she joined collapsed on itself, and look what happened here. She shook her head, Robin had nothing to do with the Merry being out of commision, it was so much more than that but simple is easier. A devil fruit user couldn’t damage a keel that was underwater 99% of the time, and Robin would never do that. She hoped...no she knew. After Skypia, Nami knew Robin would be with them forever. It was something about the way she didn’t hold her shoulders quite as tight anymore. How her smirks were becoming more and more like simple smiles. In the end, she had only known Robin for maybe a month and for most of that she had been an enemy. Of course, the question she was avoiding, was whether or not she herself would leave. Growing up she had wanted to draw a map of the world, she still wanted that, and the belief that Luffy was the man to follow to do that, held firm. She had sailed around the East Blue for eight years by herself on the whims of the Fishman who killed her mother. She had enough of being alone. Of being used. She wasn’t going back to the life of a lonely thief, not ever. So she was staying, for now. If Luffy told her to leave, disbanding the crew, she wasn’t sure what she would do. 

She stole another glance at Luffy and had to suppress a smile when his snot bubble burst, jerking him awake. He looked around frantically, eyeing the sleeping Zoro and Chopper before finally meeting her eyes. He stared at her for a moment. blinking sleepily, before turning to look at the rest of the room packed with the goods from the ship. He spun around to stare back at her, a question in his eyes. He opened his mouth, “Where’s Uso-” and then he remembered.

It hurt to see her Captain’s face fall. He sleepily rubbed his eyes, if there were any tears Nami pretended she didn’t see, and he mumbled “So it wasn’t a nightmare”. Then with a jolt, fully awake this time, he jumped out of bed, 

“Where’s Sanji?!”

“He went to keep watch, in case Robin decided to come back”

Luffy nodded and sat down on the cot with a thud. The silence spoke for them, Sanji was probably wasting his time. Or so she thought, only to realize Luffy was already fast asleep. Nami wished she could fall asleep. To escape this waking nightmare. Moping about it wouldn’t make the morning come any faster. All she could do was make like her Captain and sleep. Or at least close her eyes for a moment or two. 

Nami fell back onto her pillow and closed her eyes. Sweet darkness and the lullaby of her crewmates’ snores. All that was missing was Usopp’s incessant hammering. She allowed her mind to wander, little flashes of Usopp covered in grease hammering away at something on deck. A drinking Zoro stumbling over him and cursing. Sanji kicking Usopp out of the kitchen until he can stop tinkering. Chopper and Luffy staring star eyed at Usopp as he plays with some spare rope, showing off the different knots he could do. Always in the way. No spot to call his own. No. He had belonged right? He had been happy. A carefree smile in between the cowering and the screaming. But he always came back. To the Merry, to them. He had the Merry now, what else did he need? 

Nami opened her eyes with a sigh, it was hard to fall asleep without the ocean rocking her to sleep. A night on steady ground was a rarity, the only time she had gotten a decent sleep on dry land was in the final days before they left Alabasta. Even with the crew it was a hard habit to break, sleeping with one eye open when on shore. Back when she was alone, a hired cat of Arlong’s, sleep was just a liability. No one to watch over her as she slept, so at least when she fell asleep on the high seas there was always a way out. She had made a point to never sleep at Arlong Park. Showing no weakness,as it was not her home. Better a dingy tied to the dock than to sleep in the same house as cold blooded murderers.. She would take that crappy dinghy over this lumpy hotel bed every time. Blinking a little, she noticed that her sleepy gaze was met by Chopper who seemed to have finally stopped crying. The fur around his eyes were still wet. He blinked at her and whispered

“Nami, I can’t sleep. Could you tell me a bedtime story?”

On some nights, especially rainy ones, Usopp would break out his bedtime stories. He never read from a book, just stared off into the distance for a moment or two before launching into the next epic tale. Brave warriors, helpless princesses (after Vivi they got at least semi component which was progress), and fearsome dragons almost always populated them. Sometimes she would join them in the boy’s room for story time and Sanji would be too busy falling asleep to try to hide his porn magazines. She didn’t know what to tell Chopper, she was no storyteller. She had no grand tales to tell, but on the other hand if he wanted to be bored to sleep…

She sat up and whispered back

“Sorry Chopper. I don’t have any stories. But can I interest you in the crew’s finances?”

“That sounds boring” he pouted 

“Exactly”

Popping into his smaller form, Chopper crawled up the blankets to Nami’s side. 

She began to read off her mental balance sheet, dating back to the bit of treasure she had gotten off Buggy

“A long long time ago, there were 2520 gold coins…”

 

Request

Nami- a workshop...just in case


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exploring the new ship

Water Seven was behind them and they were now, officially out of range of the hand thrown cannon balls. Just clear skies ahead and ocean upon ocean beyond. Who knows what islands might await them next? Usopp took a moment to catch his breath, stealing a glance at the rest of the crew. Everyone was all smiles, even Zoro. It felt so good to be back, for real this time with no mask to hide behind. Except he had never been on this ship before after so maybe it was more of an arrival. A fresh start. A whole new ship, so much to discover. He hoped he still had a bed. He wasn’t sure if he had been factored in during the whole make a ship from scratch process. They probably forgot all about him in the excitement. Worst comes to worse, he could always sleep in the corner of the room on the laundry. 

Luffy had already move on, flopped on the deck moving his arms and legs back and forth 

“GRASS ANGELS!”

Usopp looked down in shock, the deck really was grass. Springy underneath his hands. He had noticed his landing on the ship had been soft but he had been too busy crying to give it too much thought. 

Chopper seemed to also have discovered the new deck and had begun munching away at the grass

“Oye I just planted that!” Franky yelled

Chopper popped back into his smaller form 

“Awww but Franky I am hungry!”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Sanji stomped off to the kitchen, grumbling about stupid hungry people

“Oye shit cook bring me some snacks too!” Zoro called out from his position on the ground, he had lay down beside Luffy and closed his eyes. Usopp gave him maybe a minute or two of wakefulness before he was truly napping. If Zoro was horizontal he was asleep. Maybe he would try to stay awake for snacks. The battle was on, Sanji vs Zoro. Food vs Zoro’s ability to stay conscious in a horizontal position. Stay tuned.

A yell came from the kitchen. The crew minus Zoro ran over. Sanji was speaking gibberish and tears were running down his face. A gleaming kitchen lay out before them. But all Usopp could see was the fridge. It had finally happened, after all of Sanji’s threats and complaining, a fridge with a lock. No more late night raids but on the flip side no more going hungry because of getting caught up in one of Luffy’s plots. 

“Awww not a lock”Luffy groaned. Usopp inched away from him and whistled looking at the ceiling. Who was this strange straw hatted individual? Never seen him before in my life officer. Luckily Sanji was too busy victory dancing (high kicks for the curious) around the fridge to notice. He suddenly froze mid high kick and turned his head towards them. Usopp shit exactly one brick.

“What are you guys doing here! Out! I need to familiarize myself with this kitchen and I can’t do that if you all are crowding in here trying to steal scraps!”

Nami coughed

And Sanji turned his frozen kick into a spin.

“Of course not you Nami swaaaaaaannn. And Robin swwaaaannnn”

Franky let out a big laugh

“I am glad you like it Cook Bro! I can leave but don’tcha want the combination for the lock first?”

He held up his hands to reveal a small slip of paper. Franky continued

“Even I don’t know what it is. The locksmith just handed me this and I set it aside for later”

The kitchen was suddenly very quiet. All heads slowly but surely turned to look at Luffy. The captain in question was idly spinning on one of the kitchen chairs. 

“What?”

Before anyone could answer Sanji leapt over to Franky(in a single bound) and grabbed the paper out of his hand, read it and ate it.

Luffy jumped out of the chair and marched over to Franky 

“Do you have any more snacks?”

“....No”

“I am your captain now. And the rule is any cool snacks must be first given to the captain. Understand?”

Usopp rolled his eyes. Looks like every time Sanji gave the women of the crew treats first was mutiny then. Luffy wasn’t smiling though, standing on his tippy toes to try to get into Franky’s face. Franky looked over to Nami and Usopp who just shrugged. Luffy would forget about this five minutes or whenever he ate something, whichever came first.

Franky patted Luffy’s shoulder

“Sure thing Captain”

Luffy spun away from the relived and slightly perplexed Franky to confront his cook. 

“And Sanji! You said you were going to make snacks right?”

Sanji already had the fridge open inspecting the contents and waved back at Luffy

“Give me five minutes”

It took a bit of work but Franky managed to shepherd them out of the kitchen insisting there so so much cooler things to see.

Along the deck was a wooden platform, it seemed a little out of place. He approached it cautiously, maybe it was a trap door? Nothing jumped out to maim him so he ended up standing atop it. He jumped in the air but landing didn’t produce a hollow sound. So no trap door, natch. The remaining crew stared at him, it felt good to be taller than Robin for once. For luck he struck a pose pointing up at the sky. Sometimes you just had to pose. Robin clapped. He wasn’t sure if it was sarcastic but he would take it. Having finished his brilliant performance he called out 

“What’s this for Franky?”

Franky grinned arms crossed beaming with pride

“A spot on deck for tinkering”

Usopp turned to him with stars in his eyes 

“Really!”

Nami coughed  
“It would also make a pretty good sunbathing spot to be honest”

“Oh and I made an actual workshop just wait until you see it”

So they had given him a thought after all, maybe.  
Luffy bounced over to Franky

“So what else you got?”

“I’ll show you the brain of the Sunny”

Luffy looked over to front of the ship

“Ewwwwww I wanna see!”

And took off running helmsward. Franky managed to snag Luffy’s left arm

“Not that way Bro!”

Realizing his mistake, Luffy jumped up and just kind of snapped back to his arm barreling into Franky somehow not knocking the shipwright over.. Being a cyborg had its perks huh. A robot sniper did have a nice ring to it. They made their way through Nami’s orange trees, after she carefully inspected each one. As she did so Usopp wandered around a bit trying to see if he could find anything else interesting. On the opposite side from his tinker spot (name pending) was a long shallow box, full of sand. 

“Oye Franky! What’s with the sand? Is it a leftover from the lawn or something?”  
He cautiously poked the dirt with a finger. Maybe Franky was growing killer worms, they could grow to the size of a battleship and even fight a sea king. What were the eating habits of killer worms? Did they have to go for walks? As Usopp was mulling over his new career as a killer worm farmer Chopper had made his way over to check out the dirt.

“Watcha looking at Usopp?” 

Usopp opened his mouth to explain his killer worm theory when Luffy slingshotted himself over almost knocking the dirt and the vicious flesh eating worms (killer worms are rarely friendly) out of the box

“Did you guys find buried treasure!?”

“We found sand”

“So there must be treasure underneath duh! Usopp is so stupid isn’t he Chopper?”

Chopper nodded hesitantly, and Usopp rolled his eyes. Gotta love Luffy logic.

Luffy hit his hand against his palm

“Pirates hunt buried treasure, which is under the ground. The ground is sand and this is sand. So there has gotta be treasure under it!”

“Did someone say treasure?” Nami had joined the treasure hunt. Usopp smelled sulfur.

“Yeah! Nami help us dig for treasure! Finders keepers! On the count of 3 we all put our hands in to look! 1-”

 

Nami knelt down, shoved her hands in the dirt and began feeling around

“Nami! You cheated!”

She just looked back and stuck out her tongue. 

“Usopp make Nami stop cheating!”

He was not going to even try that one. He liked his head lump free thank you very much. There was a small cough behind them.

Usopp stole a glance behind them and managed to catch sight of one of the rarest sights on all the seas. Robin was laughing. Not a smirk or cold snicker, an actual belly laugh. She caught herself though and catching her breath tried to put on a straight face

“I thought I was the archaeologist of this crew”

“Oh right! Robin go get your little shovel and help us dig up the gold!”

Beside Robin, Franky held up his hands.

“I hate to break it to you, but there isn’t any treasure in that. It is a flower bed”

“Oh yeah? Where are the flowers then?”

Luffy looked over to Usopp and stage whispered

“Franky wants all the gold for himself. So greedy”

Nami sat down with a huff. Usopp inched away from her, just to be safe. Franky was lucky he was made of iron; but depending on how pissed off she got, she might take a wrench to him. It wouldn’t be that hard. Unscrew him piece by piece, gather up all the copper and gold wires inside and sell ‘em for scraps. 

“Hey iron weirdo, where’s my gold?”

“In the safe under your desk” It was a quick practiced reply. Franky was learning. 

Nami wiped her dirty hands on Luffy which arguably just made her hands dirtier. 

“Good. So can you explain to these idiots why you have a box of sand?”

Franky shrugged “Like I said it is a flower bed. And it isn’t all sand. Some of it is loam”

Luffy, Chopper and Usopp nodded sagely

“Loam” no idea what that means but it sounds cool so it must be true.

 

Robin held up a hand “If I may,” she paused and Luffy opened his mouth but Usopp was faster and slapped a hand over it. They were all finally back together, no need for Luffy to say something so dumb that Robin tried to throw him overboard.

Robin continued as if nothing had happened

“Franky was so kind as to provide a flower bed, it was my responsibility to find the seeds. I had not gotten the chance to plant them yet before your Grandfather gave us that touching send off”

Nami clapped her hands together in excitement, her anger at Franky apparently forgotten

“Oh what are you going to plant? Roses?”

Robin held up a small cloth bag. It had a simple yellow flower drawn on it and underneath it said ‘Seeds” how enlightening. 

Robin explained further “Not roses but tansies. Seaside tansies to be specific.” 

Usopp gulped and asked the question that may well cost him having a fully functional back.

“Aren’t those you know...weeds?”

Instead of giving him a taste of Seis Fleur as he probably deserved she nodded. She knelt down and began planting the seeds one by one as she went on.. 

“Exactly. Nearly impossible to kill, can grow almost anywhere and love the sea. Sound familiar?”

“A seaking!” Luffy shouted triumphantly and having solved that puzzle turned around and made a break for the kitchen.

“IT HAS BEEN FIVE MINUTES! SANJI SNNNAACCKKK TIME!” there was a moment of silence followed by loud and very enthusiastic 

“So much for the library visit” Nami sighed.

“He didn’t have any books in there anyways” Franky pointed out then stopped for a second “Can Luffy read?”

In unison the surrounding crew replied

“It is a mystery.”

 

Loud laughter interrupted their musing on the literacy of the captain. Looking back on the grassy deck below they saw said Captain doubled over laughing. Zoro was still laying on the grass looking up at him rather nonplussed. The kitchen door slammed open and Sanji walked out with his arms full of pink. Usopp blinked and suddenly the space beside him where Chopper was supposed to be felt empty and Sanji was kicking away a pink missile. Usopp shook his head, apparently he was the only one who actually used stairs like you were supposed to instead of jumping off the railing at the slightest provocation. He made his way over to the stairs to join in on the fun only to realize they weren’t there. Instead there was a yellow slide. 

Usopp looked back to Franky who was also making his way over

“You actually put a slide in?”

“Of course I did, slides are super”

Can’t argue with super slides, you just slide down them. So Usopp did. It was the most fun and least deadly thing he had done in his life. Perfect.

”Guys you won’t believe this! Franky actually put a slide in!”

So starry eyes greeted him. Sanji, Luffy, and Chopper were on the ground rolling in the grass crying. Zoro was now beginning to draw his swords. Usopp ran over.

“Wait Zoro what are you doing?”

Zoro turned towards him and finally Usopp saw it. Bird shit dripping down the left side of Zoro’s face. Turns out sleeping on the deck had its down sides. A news coo or some other lucky bird is going to give you a parting present. Usopp slammed his hands over his mouth and shook his head slowly backing away. If he just managed to not laugh he could get out of this with all of his limbs still attached. He needed a distraction. Releasing his mouth he yelled out, disparately pointing to his right “THE BIRD THAT DID IT IS RIGHT OVER THERE! GET IT BEFORE IT GETS AWAY” and like clockwork Zoro ran to the left. The guilty or not so guilty news coo pecked at the lawn smugly. 

Having finally managed to stop laughing Luffy lifted his head from the grass

“Sanji can we eat news coos?”

The cook hummed to himself “They would probably taste good sautéed in garlic”

“No one is eating the only thing that brings me actual news of the outside world. We need information you idiots”

“Whatever you say Nami swaaaaaaaaan”

Luffy’s ears perked at this

“Can we eat a swan then?”

Usopp slapped his forehead. Just another day on the Sunny. The first day of many. Who knows what stupid shit they could pull next. God it felt so good to be back. He had missed this so so much. There was one thing bugging him though. They had forgotten to do something, something important. 

He grabbed Luffy by the ear dragging him over and head jerked at everyone else to join up. Robin handed Zoro a handkerchief and he nodded a thank you as he cleaned off his face. Finally they all huddled together. Franky was the only one left out and was beginning to pout. Usopp put forth his master plan. 

“On the count of three” the stars aligned and for once in their lives they actually managed to say something in unison

“ONE,

TWO, 

THREE,

THANK YOU FRANKY!!”

Turns out cyborgs can blush.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find @rocketspurs art thread here https://twitter.com/rocketspurs/status/1120073107765645314


End file.
